1.  The husband is the head of the home.  This connotes leadership in all areas of family life.


2.  The foundation for the family and for the home is the husband’s love, for without his mental attitude love, he should not expect a great response from the wife, Eph 5:25, 28.


3.  The woman was made for the man; the woman is never complete without the man.  The woman only becomes more complex when she has nothing to which to respond, 1 Cor 11:7-9.


4.  When a man invests nothing in his marriage, he will receive nothing in return.


5.  The husband’s responsibility to the family does not end with being the bread winner, which is just a small part of the responsibility in compatibility in marriage.


6.  The husband should initiate mental attitude love expressing itself in conversation, behavior pattern as well as sex.


7.  The husband should have time for his wife and family.  The whole life of a woman is centered in her husband, while the husband often has many interests.


8.  Wife wants to feel wanted and protected.  Her security is in the love of her husband, not in the money he earns or his social prestige.


9.  Hence every woman needs and wants attention, she wants to feel as though she belongs.  She should be protected rather than maligned.


10.   A woman is like a plant that requires sunshine and water for survival.


11.   The man who lives by his ego (wrapped in his own importance) has no capacity for love.  The control of the Holy Spirit eliminates this ego lust in the believer.


12.   Some men want their wife to assume the role of their mother, to give care and attention and protection to them as a mother would.  So instead of the man giving, he demands this protection.  This man has not grown up and think only of what he can get, not what he can give.  An example:  Some men get into problems – at work – may then, when home, expect their wife to smooth-talk some critic – out of his hostility for the husband. 


13.   The woman wants to look with respect toward her husband.  She does not want to look at him as just another child to rear and handle. 


14.  She needs to have a sense of security which comes from knowing that he makes decisions which are good, that he has good judgment; this develops respect.  True love demands respect as one  of the key ingredients.


15.  Marriage does not give the man the right of being a bully or a brute, one who demands their rights as the head of the house with never a thank you, NOR does it give the wife the right to spend a lifetime trying to straighten out her husband and to mold him into the image of her own idealism.         


16.  God has made the female mind and female body to respond and when she responds mentally or physically to the man, she is the glory of the man, 1 Cor 11:7.   She was created for the man, 1 Cor 11:9.


17.  The man is the guardian and custodian of the woman’s soul; he must not destroy her responder.  The possess a woman’s body without possessing her mind (soul) is a fallacy.  There must be mental attitude love first.


18.  The establishing of rapport is the responsibility of the man and he starts with the mind.


19.  Three areas the man needs to understand about the woman.


            a.  Her spiritual make-up.


            b.  Her mental make-up.


            c.  Her body (physical make-up)


20.  Part of a husband’s obligation and his responsibility as a believer, is to please his wife and to make his marriage a success.


21.  A husband must so love his wife, as Christ loved the church.  THE BASIS IS GRACE.  Give is of the utmost importance in:


            a.  Sex, living, conversation.


            b.  Protection, fellowship, understanding.


            c.  And every other facet of life.


22.  A woman must have freedom to respond to her husband’s love, for without freedom she will not have desire.


23.  A woman’s desire toward her husband must be correlated with her volition.  A man who eliminates a woman’s volition destroys the whole mental attitude picture.      



Doctrine matters!




Don Hargrove